Smile for the Joy of Others

Smile for the Joy of Others

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

I AM a Hypocrite

"Holly, you are nothing more than a holier than thou hypocrite."

The above statement was the beginning of an email I received from someone expressing their disapproval of an article about homosexuality I posted along with a statement of my beliefs on Facebook regarding this controversial, moral issue.

My first, immediate thought was insecurity, hurt and even tears. But as I thought about this letter and prayed about the letter, yes, I prayed about my reactions and the person who wrote it...I finally came to a peace and actual joy about it; realizing, there is some truth in the above statement used to begin this letter of extreme feelings about me and accusations against me.

"Hi. I'm Holly and I am a hypocrite."

I admit it. I rank up there with all other hypocrites. I love Jesus. I claim to live for Jesus. But in my humanity, I sin against the very one I claim to love and live for; therefor, in my sinful nature, I am, by all accounts, a hypocrite. I'm a liar. I sometimes take the Lord's name in vain. I am quick to anger. At times, I wrongfully judge people. I don't always teach my children the godly way of handling things through my own actions. I'm not in church every.single.sunday. There are days I go without praying or acknowledging him. I curse. I sometimes want to give up on my marriage b/c it's what would be easiest. I don't always love people. I can be very indifferent about the destination of the souls of some. I have celebrated the misfortune of others. I can be jealous. I can be less than kind, loving and patient. I haven't always and still don't always honor my parents. I'm a thief. I've worshipped idols (placing material things or emotions before God). I have gossiped and still do so. I have ignored "the least of these". I've been in less than glorifying relationships. I hold grudges. At times, I would rather be right than to speak or act in a way that would glorify Him. I'm guilty of 'prioritizing' sins as if one is less than the other. I have been and still can be too prideful to apologize and ask for forgiveness. I love money. Yes, I am guilty of all the above and even so of many, many other sinful acts as I proudly, loudly and boldly without apology try to live a life that glorifies Christ. So, yes, I am in fact a hypocrite.

But here is where he/she is not truthful with their statement. I am NOT 'holier than thou'. You see, I could never be holier than thou for the very reasons I'm a hypocrite. I am a sinful human, therefore, voiding any ability to be "holier than thou". I could never be holier than the one who created me...the one who lived a sinless life yet died b/c of the very sins I commit so that these very sins wouldn't send me to the damnation I so justly deserve....the very sins that make me a hypocrite...the very sins that make me unholy.

So after I licked my wounds for awhile, I am now ever so grateful for that beginning statement he/she made. It has certainly reminded me of the hypocrite I am and that b/c of my sins, I could never solely rely on myself for eternal life in Heaven. It reminds me of how much I need him to fix all the brokenness within me. It reminds me of how much Jesus loves me regardless of all that is wrong with me (my sins)...even so much he died to prove it. Thank you God, for turning a painful experience into a blessing. May I always be reminded of the hypocrite I am so that I may be reminded of just how much I need you. May I always experience pain so that I am reminded of just how much I need you. May I always be reminded of how much you love me so that I may share it with others who need that same love.