My 30 minutes of Fame

Let me begin by saying that I am conflicted as to whether or not I should even blog about this particular incident for several reasons. First, it can come across as a way of justifying my actions, 2nd--some may think that it is not an appropriate situation to publish to the world and 3rd--I risk "giving the wrong impressions" to you as readers because the situation may difficult to explain with words.

With all that being said, let me explain why I have ultimately decided to blog about the incident. If you recall in the very first blog ever I wrote (There's a first time of everything), I told ya'll that I am a realist and that I will write from a realist point of view. I also told you that I will write about about our life. When deciding to blog I promised myself not to make this blogging experience all about the "good in our life" nor was I gonna make my blogs superficial. The incident that I will be writing about only proves my promise. Our life is not always "peachy keen" and I certainly will not make it appear to be. The greatest compliments that I receive through emails and from ya'll in person is this..."I love reading your blogs because I can so relate to them as a mother and wife." "You say what most feel and experience as a mother and wife." "I enjoy reading your real life stories." Well in keeping to my real life, this blog is about an incident that happened last Friday at the local water park. I must tell you, that I will be most honest in this story as well as in my feelings about the responsibilities of being a mother. Another words, "I am gonna tell it like it is" and I will not keep from stepping on toes.

This past Friday, we went to the local water park for a few hours of fun. And as the last time we were there, CB enjoyed the slide while BB enjoyed staying in one spot and playing with the water toys.

CB was sliding on the slide and I was at the bottom to catch him and move him along so that he would get out of the way of other sliders and to make sure he didn't go head first into water. Although, he loves the slide, he doesn't just fly down, he tends to scoot down with his feet so he isn't going very fast. Regardless, I still feel the need to be at the bottom.

As CB was sliding, there were 2 older boys, 3 and 4 years old that were being extremely rough to the point of that the life guard had to basically give most of his attention to just these 2 making it hard for him to watch the rest of the area. These boys continued to defy the lifeguard by running, jumping on the slide, pushing others, and blatant disregard to the rules. He asked one of the boys where his mother was to which the child replied "at home". And before the lifeguard could get any more info from him, he took off running again. The lifeguard finally told the 2 that one more incident, they were gonna be kicked out of the pool. This had been going on since the boys arrived which was about 20 minutes. In their running and jumping on the slide, one of the boys "slammed" into their little sister causing her to go head first into the water. She of course came up coughing, gagging, and gasping for air. And again before the lifeguard could get to them, they were gone again doing the same thing.

Only this time, they "slammed" into CB causing him to go head first into the water except this time, the boy landed on top of CB causing him to be held under water. I immediately and with force, grabbed the kid by the arm throw him out of the way in order to get CB. I then grabbed the kids arm and with a loud voice, told him that he was going to have to stop or the rest of play time would not be pleasant. I admit, I was furious. Meanwhile, CB is crying, coughing, gagging and gasping for air.

At this point, what appeared to be the kid's mother came over and proceeded to literally get in my face and tell me with very explicit language, that I had no right to touch her child. Now I was a mad mother bear by this time. She continued to cuss me and call me every name in the book. I will not even use the abbreviations to described what she called me--use your imagination.

Let me stop at this point and tell you that I prayed the quickest prayer ever: "Lord put the words in my mouth and nudge me when I have said enough."

When she was finally finished with her face still in mine, I responded "Are you through?" To which she replied, "Yeah, what have you got say now, you ----". I told her that I was gonna do what it takes to protect my child and if she didn't like the way I handled it, she needed to get off her butt and get over here and tend to her own children." The lifeguard proceeded to inform her that he had been dealing with her children for the past 20 minutes and they were just about to be kicked out of the pool.

The girl continued to yell explicits and threaten me. At this time, I continued to reply...That I would do it again if I had to and that she was not gonna intimidate me with her threats. I told her again, to get her butt off the lounge chair and the towel off her head and deal with her kids or I was gonna do what it takes when their behavior effected my children.

As she continued to threaten and yell explicits, 2 more lifeguards came over and my sister came over to "take up for me." When my sister came over and began to tell her that if she hit me she was gonna be dealing with 2 problems. Of course, the girl got more defensive and began to yell explicits at my sister and threaten her also. And to the girl's defense, she probably felt "ganged up on". She didn't know Tiffany was my sister and for all she thought, it was none of Tiffany's business.

I got Tiffany away from her and told Tiffany that the girl was not worth this much trouble and let the lifeguards handle her. As Tiffany and I walked off, she continued to yell explicits (remember, this is all in front of other children and parents). She yeld that she was "badder" than us and that she wasn't gonna "back down from nobody". To which I replied to her in a very calm voice..."Do you mean badder as in a tough, white trash sort of way...because this is what you are turning this situation into. and if that is what you mean, sister, you can have that title...it's not competition I wanted to compete in".

By this time the lifeguards were doing their best to calm her down. And I was amazingly calm. I didn't have a shaken nerve in me. I honestly know God kept me calm and my words clean. I never used and explicit word with her; however, the temptation was there and the words at the tip of my tongue but I literally couldn't speak them. And I admit, I was fighting mad, I was mad enough to hit and my voice was raised even until the comment I mentioned above.

Let me stop again and tell you that BB at this point was now upset by the situation and there were no kids sliding on the slide. I don't know if the lifeguards stopped the sliding until all was calm or the other moms took there kids out to ensure their safety.

As the lifeguards were talking to her, Tiffany and I were calm and proceeded to play. I had to calm the boys down but they soon were fine. However, there was a sort of silence amongst the parents for about 10 minutes. There were 2 mothers that were sitting beside us that told us "thank you" for finally doing something. One informed us that the kids were there earlier during the week and were just as disruptive. I apologized to the 2 mothers for the display that their children had witnessed. However, I did not feel that I had said anything wrong nor did I feel that I had compromised my witness as a Christian.

Apparently whatever the lifeguards told her only made her angrier. For the remaining hour that we were there, her children never got back in the water. And as I watched her deal with them, I sincerely felt sorry for her. She was had a hard time dealing with them because they continued to be disruptive while sitting in the chairs as she tried to soak up more sun. She disciplined them by pinching them, hitting them and even dragged one of them off to where she could not be seen, leaving the 3 and 2 year olds there by themselves. When she returned the child was crying and she was still yelling.

At one point, she came over and spoke to one of the mothers sitting next to us. I didn't know at the time what she was saying but later learned.

During that remaining hour, I felt a strong sense of conviction to apologize to her. Not for what I said or how I reacted, mind you...I would still do the same thing again if need be...but rather for the whole incident. I struggled so hard whether or not I should let it go or approach her not knowing if she would "start up" again with me. But I felt the Lord remind me that Christ approached his enemies in love and that I was to do the same. So here I go. I asked Tiffany to watch the boys while I went to apologize.

I took off my sunglasses as I approached so she could see my eyes (for you readers who are not familiar with dealing with such people, it's very important that people can see your eyes... I learned alot when working with delinquent teens and although she was not a teen, she was certainly acting the part--delinquent and all). Anyway, I told her that I was approaching her not to "start up" again but rather to apologize. She immediately began to cry. And I was still amazingly calm, not a shaken or frazzled nerve. She admitted that the boys were probably acting too rough. But tried to justify it by saying that they are only 3 and 4. To which I replied, "Don't you think that's all the more reason you need to be over there so that you can be attentive to what they are doing?" She then replied that they were just acting like boys and I again asked "Don't you think that is all the more reason to be attentive to what they are doing?" I explained that I understood the boys' actions, sure, they were doing what little boys do best, play rough and tough. I even told her that I expected little boys to be that way...that's what little boys do. I went on to explain that there is a time and place. And when their behavior effects the safety of those around especially when there are younger ones being effected, that's when we as parents have to do our job.

I also told her that as a Christian, I was sorry that the incident erupted as it did. I explained to her again why I grabbed her child. She seemed to somewhat agree but would not voice it nor admit it. She said that she was a Christian but that the incident didn't effect her witness. I told her that was between her God and I was not there to judge. But for Christ's sake (and I don't mean that sarcastically as that phrase is often used), I needed to apologize. I told her that I would be a regular visitor and I didn't want it to be tense if we happened to be there at the same. She agreed and was still crying. She proceeded to tell me why she spoke to the mother that was sitting beside us. While she was yelling, hollering, and screaming explicits to Tiffany and me, she didn't realize that this particular mother was watching the whole episode. This girl teaches this mother's son in Mother's Morning Out at a local First Baptist Church. This girl apologized to this mother and tried to explain to her "that this was not normally the way she acts". Needless to say, I think this girl is worried about her job. And I boldly admit that she should be. Regardless of whether she works at a church, with that kind of temper she does not need to be working with children. The fact that I think she was worried about her job and whatever the lifeguards said to her, I left this poor girl shaking, frazzled and in tears. She told me that she had called her husband to come out there in order to calm her down. She was still yelling, screaming, hollering at her children. Oh, by the way, the 3 and 4 year old were not hers, only the 2 year old. One was a nephew and I don't know the relation of the other. Her husband arrived and proceeded to grab up all 3 of the kids and set them on a bench. He was hollering at them but I didn't pay any attention to what was said.

I am glad that I obeyed God and apologized. I don't feel intimidated by her and I wanted her to know that I would not judge her the next time we are there together.

And if this incident wasn't enough for the day.....when I walked back over to get the boys and my bag, there a was lady standing next to my stuff. As I gathered my bag, she looked at me and said "just look at those lifeguards with their whistles in their mouth, just waiting to get on to the kids. All they want to do is discipline instead of life guarding!" In a flabbergasted response, I looked and said "WHAT! are you kidding me?". For a moment I thought she was gonna say something about my incident that happened an hour ago and I was ready to tell her that I was not going to discuss it with her. However, she repeated herself. By this time her little boy came up and was whining about how the lifeguard wouldn't let me slide down head first. To which the mother replied, "You see what I mean, what's wrong with him sliding down head first, NOTHING!, they just want to show authority." I leaned down to the little and responded to his question..."You know, earlier today they wouldn't let another kid do that either. This kid asked the lifeguard 'why?' The lifeguard told him 'that by sliding head first he could hit his head on the concrete causing him to bust his head and could ultimately lead to drowning.' So, they don't let you do that because they want you to be safe so you can come back again and play." I then looked at his mother while still talking to him and said..."And I don't think you mother wants you to drown either, I bet she wants you to be as safe as possible so she can bring you back to play". I asked the little boy if that sounded like a good idea--his reply.."yeah". Well the mother puffed her cheeks and told her son to put his shoes on because they were leaving.

I know this has been an extremely long blog and I am just about through. But I must say that I am not at all surprised about the inattentiveness of parents. I saw so much of it when working at The BCV and being in the social work field. And speaking of being a social worker, I am now struggling with whether or not I should report this girl's action and her display of temper towards her children and me to the church in which is employed. I am most convicted that she should not work with children and if I stay true to my social work ethics and values, I should report it. As a mother, I would not knowingly allow my child to be a student under her.

This incident has taught me much. It taught me the power of a quick prayer and that God is involved in the everything. I learned through this girl that you never know who is watching (in her case, it was a mother of a son she teaches at church) which is all the more reason as a Christian I am to be aware of my witness. I have now added another prayer of mine that I will always show love to my children in public whether it be through attentiveness/involvement, the words I speak to them, or in my way of disciplining. I am very confident and have a peace about my action and reactions. I look forward to our future visits to the water park and expect to have a summer of fun.

Regardless of my 30 minutes of fame as a guest on the Jerry Springer Show this past Friday, we still had a fun time. In the last blog about our visit to the water park I mentioned that "I look forward to blogging throughout the summer about our adventures to the water park and I am sure some will be quite entertaining"...Little did I know that it would be this soon.

Until next time, HB