Teaching life's lessons is just as hard as learning them. As a parent, you realize this as your children grow and their innocence begins to fade away to the sinful nature of being human.
Yesterday, we were faced with a lesson on integrity. BB came home from school with a prize from the big box that he didn't actually earn. Students earn a chance to choose a 'big prize' from the 'big box' by staying on green every day for a month (green indicating good behavior). BB received a yellow one day during October, thus loosing he chance to pick a big prize from the big box at the end of the month.
Well, it so happened that his teacher made a mistake and called his name for a big box prize. He came home with it just as proud as if he had actually earned it. I remembered him 'getting on yellow' one day and questioned him about the prize. He fully understood that he shouldn't have received the prize but honestly felt he should keep it in spite of the mistake his teacher made. I tried to make the moment a 'teachable moment' of integrity encouraging him to give it back with an explanation of the mistake made but he would hear nothing of it.
Later on, JB tried talking to him and emphasizing integrity and doing the right thing. We both encouraged him to give it back on his own without us having to send a note explaining what happened. I didn't care if she allowed him to keep the prize but I wanted him to be honest and do the right thing by at least telling the teacher he wasn't supposed to receive it. As of bedtime, he still refused to do it on his own.
This morning we encouraged him one more time to do the right thing. I fully expected to park and take the prize inside and ask to quickly speak with his teacher. However, BB anxiously said he would tell his teacher what happened on his own. So anxious in fact he didn't want to talk about it on the way to school.
I prayed all day that his decision to do the right thing would be a blessing he would experience so not to be discouraged the next time something like this happened making it even harder for him to make it right.
I actually dreaded the conversation. I struggled with the idea of rewarding him ourselves. While he needed to learn this life lesson, he also needed to learn that you don't always get 'rewarded' for doing the right thing, at least not materially. I asked BB the dreaded question, "how did it go today?" To my surprise, he replied, "It was the best day ever!", I thought maybe it was because he got to keep the prize with a simple smile from his teacher thanking him for being honest. Instead, nothing of the sorts happened at all. She took back the prize, gave him a hug and thanked him for being honest. She went even further giving him a 'Horseshoe High Five". This honor is even greater than obtaining a big box prize. This is an award given to students who exemplify good citizenship and positive role modeling. His integrity was not only rewarded but more importantly, recognized. I didn't care if he was rewarded but I wanted most of all for it to be simply recognized in a way that honored him in his 'world'.
I am so grateful to God for honoring BB's decision to practice integrity on his own in spite of loosing a prize. And I thank Him for honoring us as parents when trying to teach our children integrity not just for the sake of humanity but for the sake of honoring Him. BB's lesson learned is an affirmation of how hard it is trying to rear boys into men of integrity in a culture that teaches otherwise. But the outcome of his lesson is an affirmation that God blesses us as parents when we do it for his honor. My blessing was seeing God honor BB's integrity and it couldn't have been anything better than a simple recognition.
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