Cluttered vs Straightened

The other morning as I was pulling into my garage after dropping the boys off at school, I heard a "devotion" type segment on KLOVE. (I have since tried to find it to no avail). It was just what I needed to hear. I was dreading to walk into my house that was messy, cluttered and in much need of straightening up. All of this while I needed to fulfill monogramming orders. Reality of it is, if I monogram, my house gets neglected but if I clean my house...the monogramming orders get neglected. I would rather monogram if the truth be known.

Regardless, I've been busy fulfilling orders so the house has been somewhat neglected. The speaker was discussing this very issue. The issue of neglected housework for both working and stay-at-home moms.

She went on to say that her house, too, typically stays cluttered with dishes in the sink, laundry that gets washed but rarely gets folded and put up. Ironing that piles on the floor, clothes that rarely make it to the laundry hamper. She described my house in the most detail.

However, she went on to say that what makes a happy home is not necessarily how clean it is. Instead, what makes a happy home is Mom's attitude. There is truth in the saying that "Mom is the heart of the home". She has the power to make a home comfortable filled with joy. Or she can make the home one of constant tension, discomfort and lack joy.

For some reason, moms and wives can feel measured by the cleanliness of their home. We want to show an outward facade of our family by priding ourselves of a clean home. And why not...a clean home can appear to others that your family has it all together. A mom/wife can make her home an unpleasant place to live and visit if she is obsessed with keeping it clean to the point that no one can measure up to her standards of cleanliness. If her house is not clean as she measures it, then no one will be happy until it is. She can constantly nag their children and husbands to keep a clean house. Furthermore, she is hurting herself with the constant worry and obsession that bleeds into the family atmosphere. The children are afraid of playing with toys or the mother refuses to let their friends come play in fear of her domain getting messed up. "I just cleaned up, no Susie is not coming over". "When your friends get here, do not drag out every toy". "You play only in your room." What kind of welcoming home can you have with this type of attitude?

Please don't accuse me of judging, because I can feel the same way. I know what it's like to have just cleaned the kitchen or den only to have toys and dishes messed up again. It can feel like a never ending cycle. It can be frustrating. But here is where we as moms and wives make a choice to have a home of joy and peace or we one of constant tension and strife. What good is a straightened home if it's filled with strife?

The speaker went on to say that if she had to choose, she would choose a Cluttered but comfortable home rather than a Straightened home filled with strife.

I choose cluttered but comfortable, too. This devotion is what I needed to make me feel better as a mom and wife. It affirmed to me that it doesn't matter if my house is cluttered and messy. What matters most is that my husband and children are happy, that my home is one of peace and joy. It matters to me that when friends visit, they feel comfortable and welcomed. I want my children's friends to enjoy being at my house. I want them to play without fear of upsetting me because they messed up the den.

One of the greatest compliments I have receiverd was from a from a friend that was over, "I like coming to your house, it feels lived in."

Blessed are those who can do both...keeping a constant clean home without obsession while also keeping a home of peace. Some are fortunate to have your house cleaned by hired help. While this can be a blessing, these moms/wives, too, can cause strife if someone dares to mess up their house that she just paid to have cleaned.

So those who come to my house, it may not always be clutter free and cleaned but I will do my best to make it a comfortable and welcoming experience. I want to be a mom who keeps a happy home even if it's not always clean.

Until next time, HB